Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
