She's JV to your varsity
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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