ya dads aren't the best wingmen
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
