I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
