At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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