I murdered the dance floor call the cops
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
