so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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