She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
