Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
