i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
