went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
