Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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