the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize