Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
