stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
