Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
