We won't sleep together?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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