is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just sucked dick on a ferry
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
