This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
