Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
