best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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