I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize