I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
