You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My liver just had a heart attack.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Let's get the cat blown out
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
