Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
