Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
