Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
