I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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