Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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