My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
