butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
