We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
