you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
