i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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