i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
