You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
