I must be too annoying 4 u.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
