Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
