Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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