any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize