so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
