Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
