Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
