I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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