Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
