i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
