Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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