I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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