I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
