I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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