just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
