"it" just moved
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
