I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
