i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
