So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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