I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
