is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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