pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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