**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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