Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
