My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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