So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
